A blawg?

Taking a break from the irregular unschedule of non-posts here so far to say, it’s well and truly summer. It feels like there has been a heatwave since mid April because, well there pretty much has been.

Every summer for the past 4 years I wonder, is this the summer I manage to come off of antidepressants? At the time of writing it is 29 days since I took Sertraline! Holy shit.

I wanted to come here and talk about how shit social media makes me feel most of the time. I don’t even know what to do about it because it feels like the only way to feel in touch with people a lot of the time. I deleted Facebook, but maybe that means I’ll never hear about a gig listing ever again, until I see all my mates posting pics of one on Instagram or whatever. I want to delete Twitter and I MIGHT, but again, will I know what anyone is doing? Maybe I don’t need to know though, does that even make sense?

The other day I was so sad but all I could think I wanted was to have a fancy salad and so I sought one out and made it happen, and then, it didn’t taste as good as I imagined. Maybe all the good stuff people say or post on social media isn’t as good IRL. I mean I know it probably isn’t. I tend to make a point of trying to be very honest about stuff, but there are ways (social codes?) of communicating these days and I have tried doing them too, but it never really pans out. I want to find a way to express myself that is completely unmeasured if that makes sense.


I’m also very close to being six months sober now. It has actually been easy so far to be honest. There are certain things that line up to make me feel like drinking but every time I haven’t drunk I have felt just as able to enjoy myself. I have a few weddings coming up over the next few months and I know these are going to be tricky because of free drinks floating around on trays or on tables and I’m very much into free stuff. I stopped drinking because it make me feel like dying a lot of the time. It also made me feel very anxious and sick when hungover which sucked. So yeah i don’t miss it at all, it’s weird. But it’s okay.


Anyway I might write more here sometimes. I’m the queen of making new internet presences and getting bored of them, or losing interest in them, so no promises or anything. I am planning to finish Learning To Love You More, as well, but there is no deadline on that, purposefully, because I usually give myself lots of deadlines and beat myself up about them and I don’t really have time for that anymore.

LTLYM Assignment 42: List five events from 1984.

These are meant to be things that had a ~major~ impact on me during the year 1984, but I wasn’t born until 1986 so that’s kind of tricky.

  • The UK replaces GCE O-Level’s and CSE’s with GCSE’s – which I later ended up doing.
  •  The comedian Tommy Cooper, 63, collapses and dies on stage from a heart attack during a live televised show. This man is a major influence on my dad’s sense of humour and terrible jokes.
  • The government announces that English pound notes are to be taken out of circulation, it actually took a while. I remember getting a pound note for one of my birthdays when I was little, I don’t remember what I spent it on.
  • Katy Perry was born on 25th October – we share a birthday though I am two years younger. Her music has really helped me cope with life in the past few years.
  • Apple Computer places the Macintosh personal computer on sale in the United States. I use these computers.